Problems Change, The Solution Doesn't

Last week was the worst week in NFL history. Multiple stories of domestic violence involving high profile players and a response from the league and its teams that sparked outrage nationwide.

It wasn't just the main story on SportsCenter either. It led every network evening news program in America along with the President's plan to eradicate ISIS. Let that soak in for a second.

The outrage was certainly warranted. The way the NFL, and specifically Roger Goodell, handled the Ray Rice case was improper at every turn. It would be comical if it wasn't so tragic. Anything they could have done wrong, they did, and it's not done yet as Rice is appealing his rash, indefinite suspension.

It's an appeal Rice has a great chance to win. He was punished twice for the same crime by the league and the second didn't fall in line with a policy Goodell had announced less than a week earlier. That means the two most high profile suspensions of the Goodell era will have been overturned (along with the Saints players in "Bountygate"). For a commissioner who many think is inept and incapable of doing the job, this is merely piling on.

However there is outrage in other places that, while completely understandable, isn't helping anything.

Do you want to be mad or do you want to be a part of the solution?

If you want to be mad, just go back to Twitter. There's plenty of mad to go around. If you'd like to be a part of the solution, keep reading.

This thought trail came to me for the first time when I saw tweets from Pacers forward Paul George which in short stated that if Janay Rice stayed with her now husband, who was he to judge? Immediately he was met with the wrath of people who were understandably angry with such a simple view of an anything but simple situation.

What George clearly didn't know is that many who are abused stay with their abusers. Many have made that leap insisting Ray Rice is that despite everyone involved says this was a one time horrible moment. I find that rather irresponsible, however those statistics are very, very real and could not be more relevant in pointing out the problem with George's sentiment.

So what's the better angle? To blast George for being an idiot, or realizing that he's uneducated like so many others when it comes to domestic violence and being part of the solution? Give me the latter.

A tweet is one thing. Beating a child is another.

The preceding two sentences combine to make perhaps the most obvious point in the history of mankind. With that said, the concept of what I said about George oddly applies to the Adrian Peterson case.

Every reasonable person agrees Peterson went too far, even if you believe in corporal punishment. The force was excessive. The aim was reckless. And the child was four years old. The details are nauseating.

So is the fact that Peterson didn't think that he did anything wrong. The solution here needs to be education, on top of whatever the legal system determines for Peterson. They don't have to be and shouldn't be mutually exclusive.

There are mounds of research pointing that corporal punishment causes long term problems for children. Sure it might teach short-term discipline, but the long-term problems are not worth the short-term reward and there are certainly other ways to achieve those goals.

When Charles Barkley went on CBS and stated that every black (and many white) parents in the south would be in jail if "whooping" their kids were illegal, he's not kidding and I would guarantee you that damn near all of those parents are unaware of the research referenced above. It's just how they were brought up. They think they turned out alright. It's how they learned how to parent from their parents and now that's how they're bringing up their child.

It takes education to break the cycle. Cris Carter spoke passionately about it this morning on Sunday NFL Countdown. He said on national television his mother was wrong. That's change. That's what's needed. We need more of it.

It is why I struggle with what I think of Peterson and even to an extent Ray Rice. I know I'm sick about what they did and I know I'll never look at either man the same way. But what's next?

If Peterson (after being punished fully and fairly by the legal system) learns from his mistake and speaks in his hometown communities about the dangers of corporal punishment and the benefit of disciplining a better way isn't that a good thing?

If Rice's incident was really a one-time, alcohol-fueled moment of rage and he becomes fully educated on domestic violence and prevents others from making the mistake he did, isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't we want good things?

The alternative is neutral or negative. If neutral, nothing changes. If negative, Rice, Peterson and others repeat their offenses and we can all agree that's worst case scenario.

Being mad is okay. It's natural. Quite frankly if you can read these stories and not be irate you don't have a soul, which is why Goodell's initial reaction was disturbing. However, eventually the anger has to turn into something.

When Jovan Belcher killed his girlfriend, Kasandra Perkins, and then turned the gun on himself, we were shocked and horrified and largely did nothing. This time let's not repeat our mistake.

The only way to break cycles is education. This is a responsibility of many. It's on the league to provide education to its players. It's on the media to uncover problems with the goal of helping to fix them, not just exposing those involved. The discussions need to advance beyond "he's an awful person who did an awful thing."

Last but not least it's on the players. One of the most valuable skills a person can have in life is to understand what he or she doesn't know. Take some personal responsibility. As situations with your colleagues come up, do some homework. There's a reason they're in hot water.

Anger is a natural reaction to things we don't like. It's often warranted. It's useless unless harnessed and focused positively. In short, that's the lesson here. For everybody.

Hoffman Uncut: NFL Preview Podcast

The NFL season starts full bore on Sunday which leaves just enough time for the "Hoffman Uncut's Really Quick Because The Season's Here NFL Preview" with ESPN's Robert Flores!

Michael Sam to sign with Cowboys

After a very productive preseason, Michael Sam found himself on the outside looking in at a talented Rams defense and without a job. The first openly gay player drafted into the NFL is going to have to wait to play in it. It had nothing to do with his sexuality and everything to do with the reality that he's not a special talent by NFL standards. That said, he's good enough to be in the league and we knew he wouldn't be without a job for long. The Cowboys made that wait less than a week.

Sam is flying to Dallas tonight to take a physical tomorrow and sign with the team's practice squad. Despite many people wanting this story to go away, it can't until it happens. There's still history to be made and there likely will be soon.

For all his flaws as a general manager, Jerry Jones is a phenomenal owner and someone who cares an incredible amount about the well being of the NFL. In this interview with "The Afternoon Show," Adam Schefter (who broke the news) doesn't rule out that could have played a factor in Jones bringing in Sam.



It simply looks bad for the NFL when Sam produced in the preseason and didn't make a roster. Not making the Rams roster is one thing. He lost out to a player who has position flex (for non-football types, that means he can play multiple positions while Sam plays only one spot) on a loaded defense and nobody can argue with that. Not making any roster is a little harder to comprehend. It just didn't look good. Jones knew that. Roger Goddell knew that. Schefter didn't exactly rule out the commissioner "suggesting" Jones make a move, perhaps even in return for the league not pursuing tampering charges against Jerry Jones for talking with Adrian Peterson this off-season.

With that said, it's also a football decision. The Cowboys need edge rushers. Sam is that. He had as many sacks as anyone this preseason. He can play. The Cowboys need players that can play. The question is when will he play and it might be more significant than you think, which is saying something for the history that it would mean.

Consider this tweet that astonishingly flew under the radar over the weekend from Yahoo! Shutdown Corner's Eric Edholm.

There's an NFL team that signed a player they know to be gay to hefty contract extension recently. It's not the controversy people think.
— Eric Edholm (@Eric_Edholm) August 31, 2014

There won't be any added pressure on the Cowboys to add Sam to the active roster and play him, but there almost should be. Why? To get to the next guy. In order for this not to be news, we need it not to be significant. The first gay player in the NFL is significant and at this point, that player will be Michael Sam.

No other gay player is going to come out before Sam plays because Sam was the one who was brave enough to be the first. He was the one who answered all the questions and had to deal with all the attention (positive and negative) of being the first. Another player isn't going to swoop in and take the accomplishment.

With that in mind, Edholm's tweet is significant. Once Sam breaks the barrier, I fully expect others to come out as well. If you don't think there are gay players currently in the NFL, you're both naive and wrong.

Step one has to come before step two, so for now we wait on step one, and Michael Sam looks like he will take that step with the famed Cowboys star on his helmet.